03.09.2025 | Healthy Conflict
HEALTHY CONFLICT?
Acts 15:1 (NKJV) And certain men came down from Judea and taught the brethren, “Unless you are circumcised according to the custom of Moses, you cannot be saved.”
Acts 15:2 (NKJV) Therefore, when Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and dispute with them, they determined that Paul and Barnabas and certain others should go up to Jerusalem, to the apostles and elders about this question.
HEALTHY CONFLICT
Acts 15:2 – no small dissension – disagreement, heated quarrel
What does healthy conflict look like? How do we walk it out?
BELIEVE THAT HEALTHY CONFLICT IS POSSIBLE
Mark 9:23 (NKJV) Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes”
Acts 15:2 (NKJV) Therefore, when Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and dispute with them, they determined that Paul and Barnabas and certain others of them should go up to Jerusalem, to the apostles and elders about this question.
CHOOSE TO FACE THE CONFLICT
Sometimes we have to have difficult conversations.
Acts 15:6 (NKJV) Now the apostles and the elders came together to consider this matter.
1 Samuel 17:48 (NKJV) So it was, when the Philistine arose and came and drew near to meet David, that David hurried and ran toward the army to meet the Philistine.
SET A TIME AND PLACE TO MEET
Acts 15:2b (NKJV) They determined that Paul and Barnabas and certain others of them should go up to Jerusalem.
Choose a time and a place to have difficult conservation.
Matthew 5:23-24 (NKJV) Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 18:15 (NKJV) Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
Matthew 18:16-17 (NKJV) But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen or tax collector.
SATURATE THE MEETING WITH PRAYER
Acts 6:4 (NKJV) But we will give ourselves continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word.
James 1:5 (NKJV) If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
Matthew 7:3 (NKJV) And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?
Matthew 7:5 (NKJV) Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
LISTEN BEFORE WE SPEAK
Acts 15:7 (NKJV) And when there had been much dispute, Peter rose up and said to them, “Men and brethren, you know that a good while ago God chose among us, that by my mouth the Gentiles should hear the word of the Gospel and believe.
Acts 15:12 (NKJV) Then all the multitudes kept silent and listened to Barnabas and Paul declaring how many miracles and wonders God had worked through them among the Gentiles.
James 1:19 (NLT) Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
Proverbs 18:13 (NKJV) He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.
IF NEEDED, TAKE A TIME OUT
Acts 15:2 (NLT) Paul and Barnabas disagreed with them, arguing vehemently. Finally, the church decided to send Paul and Barnabas to Jerusalem, accompanied by some local believes, to talk to the apostles and elders about this question.
Sometimes in the midst of a heated disagreement, we need to simply take a time out.
We don’t want to win the argument and lose the relationship.
The person I am in conflict with is a person whom Jesus loves and died for.
AFTER SHARIING OUR HEARTS – SEEK THE TRUTH OF THE WORD TOGETHER.
Acts 15:7 (NKJV) And when there had been much dispute, Peter rose up and said to them: Men and brethren, you know that a good while ago God chose among us, that by my mouth the Gentiles should hear the word of the gospel and believe.
Acts 15:11 (NKJV) But we believe that through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ we shall be saved in the same manner as they.
Acts 15:19-20 (NKJV) Therefore, I judge that we should not trouble those from among the Gentiles who are turning to God, but that we should write to them to abstain from things polluted by animals, from sexual immorality, from things strangled, and from blood.
COME TO A PLACE OF PEACE
Acts 15:28a (NKJV) For it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us.
Romans 12:17-18 (NLT) Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18 (NKJV) If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.
Discussion Questions:
1. What is your usual response to conflict? Do you avoid it, run away from it, or run to it?
2. Have you had a difficult conversation? What was the result of that conversation?
3. In Acts chapter 15, what happened when the church came together and had a difficult conversation?
4. Do you believe God can work through conflict to advance His Kingdom? Why or why not?
5. Is there someone the Holy Spirit is calling you to have a difficult conversation with? Are you willing?
6. Is there someone who the Holy Spirit is calling you to forgive and walk forward with? Are you willing?