12.08.2021 | SERMON ON THE MOUNT - ADULTERY OF THE HEART
Wednesday PM, December 8th
Sermon on the Mount: Matthew 5:27-32
I) Jesus is teaching his first sit down structured discourse.
A. Jesus has opened with a set of Counter-Culture Kingdom mindsets that He is later going to flesh out with what it looks like when you radically “do” them- Talking about the B-attitudes.
1) First, Jesus calls us to a surprising level of vulnerability
a) does anyone besides me see this?
b) Matthew 5:3-12: Poor in spirit= knowing you are desperately in need/you don’t have it all; mourn= face losses in life choices; meek= crouched low/ submitted posture; hunger/thirst for righteousness/justice= craving/famished without it; merciful= actively compassionate; Pure in heart= clear minded/not other option/no hedged bet/no safety net; peacemaker= peaceable even when others aren’t; persecuted for righteousness= pressed, pursued towards suffering; reviled on Christ’s account= actively defamed/falsely accused/hurtfully treated.
2) Second, Jesus calls us a radical level of intimacy and self-evaluation. “You have heard it said…” followed by familiar phrases/ideas that people think they religious know and follow and He takes them to a radically more intimate level. (Child told “no”, they see how close they can get or how much they can get away with. This is how we can be in religious minds sets instead of intimacy mindsets of God’s Kingdom.)
II) (Read Matthew 5:27-32) “You shall not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14 [quoting the 10 commandments]
A) Let’s set some parameters that are Biblical Truths about sex and marriage since there is so much distortion in our current culture.
Proverbs 5:18 “rejoice in the wife of your youth”. Rejoice (Hebrew) Sawmach- to brighten up at…, to be made gleesome, make joyful.
Sex is a gift from God. Beautifully bonding, an exciting part of love, it reflects our triune God by expressing deep union. Genesis 2:23-25 – “…Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Sex is designed for the covenant of Marriage; a sure contract between 2 people to choose to love through it all; feelings are not constantly necessary. In this covenant, this level of vulnerability holds our hearts in safety and security.
Genesis 2:23-25 – “…Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh…”
3. Sex is originally designed for a man and a woman; common sense, opposite gender bodies fit together; male on male sex is very destructive to the body, female on female sex is common sense lacking in tools.
B) Radical call to intimacy: Takes private lust and calls it adultery of the heart. And what is this about willful amputation? Is this really what Jesus means for us to do? Calls divorce essentially gross exploitation/victimization of women.
(qualified by I and my husband’s own journey). Too often mistakenly, whether by cultural influence or misunderstanding, assigned lustful thinking (i.e.. use or temptation of pornography, etc.) as a sign of the need for sex in a person’s life.
a) Is sex a need? NO! Can you survive and even live a full life without sexual activity? Yes. Don’t mistake your craving for need. It’s the endorphin and dopamine pleasure chemicals that you are mistaking as a need.
b) Is sex a good thing, a God thing in our life? It can be desired, part of the blessing of bonding within a truly healthy, vibrant, growing relationship. Yes. It glues us into covenantal relationship (Oxytocin= bonding Hormone in the brain; females released in several ways, males only released in sex).
Proverbs 5:21-23 (NLT) “For the Lord sees clearly what a man (woman) does, examining every path he takes. An evil man is held captive by his own sins. They are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control, and he will be lost because of his great foolishness.”
2. Humans actually NEED true intimacy, true connectedness- men and women alike.
a) Infants need human connection. Leave a baby in a crib without touch or verbal/emotional contact and they often fail to thrive, they simply stop eating enough.
It is part of being designed in God’s image.
Genesis 1:26 – Then God said, “Let us make human in our image, after our likeness…”
Genesis 2: 18 – “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
b) God created us for intimate relationship with Him! Because He thought we were “Very good”, Genesis 1:31. They were familiar with walking and talking in the garden together (Genesis 3:8). We need true intimacy with one another and with God.
c) True Intimacy is such a need that, when unmet again and again, we develop the belief that “no one will meet this for me”, “I am on my own” and we begin to find human ways to meet it ourselves
We grab onto distorted and counterfeit means of self-need meeting- in other words our wounded self-focus trumps the value of another human being. We use people; we skip gaining the skills that build trust & developing true relationship. (Porn, strip clubs, romance novels/movies, etc.) We take the easier route to chase away the pain of loneliness, living in a fantasy universe is so much easier than relating with actual people.
The Bible defines true intimacy: Knowing and being fully and truthfully known.
Genesis 4:1 – “And Adam KNEW Eve and she conceived a son…” this is the Hebrew word for sexual intimacy.
John 7:3 – “This is eternal life, knowing the Father & Jesus Christ whom He has sent.” The fullest version of life as a human is KNOWING our Lord in full intimacy.
3) Why is true intimacy missing in peoples lives today? (At an early age, a dear friend of mine, we will call her Sally, experienced lacks in bonding with her closest care givers…) This is essential human development and what you believe about yourself, others and God is learned through earliest experiences and perceptions in relationship including distortions . The good news is, healing comes through opposite experiences in real relationships.
Conclusion: Jesus’ challenge here
A) When you lust you are exploiting another child of God for your own sexual desire. (And may I say, when you use porn, you are participating in the sexual trafficking of human beings.) Lusting in the privacy of your own heart is = to having an affair and cheating on/ betraying your spouse, even if you don’t know them yet.
⦁ In my 27 years of children’s ministry, I have never met a child- boy or girl- who dreamed of being a porn star, a stripper/exotic dancer, a prostitute.
⦁ This industry exploits you too! It hijacks your brain & mind; it destroys your ability to love, cherish, value, trust, see your wife or husband and any human being with the value God endows us with. Your mind gets distorted and your brain doesn’t differentiate between fake and real, it just reacts. But you are more than your broken mind!
B) The Kingdom of Heaven is worth a willing and aggressive self-surgery. (My sexual healing.)
1) Repent: for exploiting/using people to meet my own need, for justifying by thinking “no one else will meet this need”, for taking Your job God to meet my own needs, for believing lies about people, myself and You.
2) Forgive anyone who contributed to your brokenness… include yourself. Release God, “why didn’t you protect me…”
3) Declare:
I was made for true intimacy.
What is broken is made new by You.
Mind, will and emotions be healed in Christ Jesus.
4) Renew your mind: Look back at the Beatitudes… What mindsets will help us really cut it out? Speak them out, over each other, over your kids lives, over a generation.
C) Intentionally restoring true intimacy in relation to God and people.
The Church can be this and I don’t mean through religious attendance in a building, I mean grace filled, word founded, truth freed relating with hurting people.