EVERY BELIEVER CAN LEARN TO LISTEN

James 1:19-20 – “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

James 1:19-20 (NLT) – “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”

James 1:19 (AMP) – “Understand this, my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense, and to get angry.”

What advice does James give us in these verses?

Why did God make us with two ears and one mouth?

Why is learning to listen important?

Psalm 116:1-2 – “I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.”

What is the source of David’s praise in these two verses?

How do we listen to others?

 

1. FOCUS

a. Turn off the television.

b. Turn away from your phone, computer, or iPad.

c. Turn towards the person trying to talk to you.

d. Tune into the other person. What is their body language? What is their face revealing?

 

2. FACTS

a. What are the facts that are being shared?

b. Fact-finding questions are: who, what, why, when, and where?

c. Active listening can repeat back the facts of what is being told.

 

3. FEELINGS

a. What are the feelings being expressed?

b. Feelings are emotions such as anger, happiness, sadness, or worry.

c. Feeling words are words like sad, mad, lonely, worried, hurting, hopeless, or rejected.

d. We can say something like, “It sounds like you are feeling ______________.”

e. This level of listening is called empathetic listening.

f. We are seeking to show compassion to the person who is pouring out their heart to us.

 

4. FLOW OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

a. What is the Holy Spirit saying?

b. We are listening for words of knowledge, prophetic insights, and pictures.

c. We are listening to Scriptures being dropped into our heart through the Holy Spirit.

d. This level of listening is called “Spirit-led listening”.

e. Cleansing Stream Ministries calls this “dual listening”.

f. Proverbs 20:5 – “Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”

 

What are some hindrances to effective listening?

 

1. Lecture, instead of listening

Proverbs 18:13 – “He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.”

 

2. Correction, without compassion

Ephesians 4:15a – “Speaking the truth in love.”

 

3. We sometimes re-live our own pain, rather than helping others through their pain.

2 Corinthians 1:4 – “Who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

Confidentiality

 

4. What we hear, we do not repeat.

Proverbs 16:28b – “A whisperer separates the best of friends.”

Proverbs 26:22 – “The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body.”

 

The only times to share what we have heard:

a. When there is a real threat of suicide.

b. When there is a real threat of harm to someone else.

c. When there is the concern of child abuse.