SHAME, FEAR, & CONTROL

“It is in the area of your life where you have been emotionally wounded, that God intends to give you the greatest authority and influence.” – Terry

“Fear plants in our minds a false prophecy of our future.” – Jimmy Evans

“‘Golgotha’ means ‘the place of the skull’. If we will be effective in spiritual warfare, the first field of conflict where we must learn warfare, is the battleground of the mind – the place of the skull.” – Francis Frangipane

How do we take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ?

A. Recognize the Lie of the Enemy.

B. Repent of Believing the Lie.

C. Rebuke the Power of the Enemy Behind the Lie.

D. Replace the Lie with the Truth of God’s Word.

1. Fear has Friends

What is shame?

“Being uniquely and hopelessly flawed.” (a false belief about our identity) – Sandra Wilson

How does shame give place to fear and control?

James 5:16a (NIV)

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

2. Unpacking Shame–Fear–Control

Source of Shame–Fear–Control

Genesis 3:10

So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”

 

                              Shame                  Fear                                     Control

Genesis 3:10 “I was naked.”         “I was afraid.”                    “So I hid myself.”

               I am a mistake.                 What if they find out?     I’ll control everything.

               I am flawed.                       They will not like me!      So that they won’t find out.

               I am bad.                            They will reject me.         What I’m really like.

               I am defective.                  I’ll be laughed at!             And so I won’t get hurt.

               I am shameful/shame.     I’ll never change.              Or suffer more pain.

“Stronghold: A stronghold is anything that exalts itself, or pretends to be bigger or more powerful than God. It steals much of our emotional and mental energy.” – Beth Moore

A. Shame lies to us about who we are: “I believe that I am flawed.”

B. Fear sets in and holds us back from seeing who we are. “I am fearful others will see my flaws.”

C. Control promises to protect us from more pain. “I need to control to protect myself from pain. I must pretend to be someone I am not.”

God created Identity, concealed!

3. Exposing Shame–Fear–Control

Shame says, “I am bad. I am different from everyone else.”

Fear says, “I am afraid that if anybody finds out how bad I am, they will not accept/approve/love me.”

Control says, “I have to control my environment and everyone in it so that no one discovered my defect.”

If Control is threatened in any way, Rebellion instructs us to, “Resist, get angry, hate, scheme and strategize to regain control.”

As added protection, Rejection says, “Withdraw, so that my shame is not exposed and I am not controlled.”

4. Freedom from Shame–Fear–Control

2 Corinthians 4:2 (NIV)

Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.

Isaiah 61:6 (NKJV)

But you shall be named the priests of the Lord, they shall call you the servants of our God. You shall eat the riches of the Gentiles, and in their glory you shall boast.

Isaiah 61:7

Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, and instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double; everlasting joy shall be theirs.

1 John 4:18a

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear.

Hebrews 2:11

So now Jesus and the ones He makes holy have the same Father. That is why Jesus is not ashamed to call them His brothers and sisters.

Steps to Freedom:

A. Forgive all parties responsible for shame (Matthew 6:12, 14-15).

B. Repent of any sin involved on your part (including giving place to this stronghold in your life) (Acts 3:19, 1 John 1:9).

C. Forgive yourself: “because You have forgiven me, I choose to forgive myself.”

D. Renounce shame and the rest of this stronghold and command it to go (2 Corinthians 4:2).

E. Decree that its power is broken (2 Corinthians 10:4).

F. Bless into a life of security as sons and daughters of Father God…walking in their true identity, as He created them to be, unmasked by the distortions of the enemy! Bless into His rest! (Hebrews 4:1)

Discussion Questions:

1. Were you able to identify this stronghold operating in your life? 

2. Share a situation where you see shame leading to fear and control?

3. Why is it so scary to obey Scripture and confess our sins?

4. Do you have “safe people” in your life that you know you can share anything with and still be loved?

5. Invite one friend into accountability to help you walk out freedom in this area!