CONFLICT IN THE KINGDOM

Acts 15:1-2 – “While Paul and Barnabas were at Antioch of Syria, some men from Judea arrived and began to teach the believers: ‘Unless you are circumcised as required by the law of Moses, you cannot be saved.’ Paul and Barnabas disagreed with them, arguing vehemently. Finally, the church decided to send Paul and Barnabas to Jerusalem, accompanied by some local believers, to talk to the apostles and elders about this question.”

Acts 15:6-7 – “So the apostles and elders met together to resolve this issue. At the meeting, after a long discussion, Peter stood and addressed them as follows: ‘Brothers, you all know that God chose me from among you some time ago to preach to the Gentiles so that they could hear the Good News and believe.’”

Acts 15:11 (summary of Peter’s case) – “We believe that we are all saved the same way, by the undeserved grace of the Lord Jesus.”

Acts 15:12 – “Everyone listened quietly as Barnabas and Paul told about the miraculous signs and wonders God had done through them among the Gentiles.”

Acts 15:28a – “For it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us…”

Matthew 18:15-16 – “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.”

Matthew 18:17 – “If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she will not accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”

 

One model of conflict resolution (adapted from Doug Fields):

1. Point of tension develops

2. Negative feelings result

3. I choose to...

a. Be defensive (negative) – when I'm defensive, my thoughts and feelings oppose peace, leading to stronger negative feelings.

4. Tension increases (negative) – gossip, sarcasm, explosive confrontation, potential long-term damage, negative, or angry comebacks.

Humility forces us to the positive side.

Ephesians 4:2 – “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”

Proverbs 12:18 – “There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

5. Ask questions (positive) – turn the mirror on yourself

 

6. Find a sounding board (positive)

 

7. Discuss the problem (positive) – confrontations are apologetic or grace-filled)

Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

James 1:19 – “This you know, my beloved brethren, but everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.”

1 Corinthians 13:5-7a (TPT) – “Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others.”

Acts 15:12 – “Everyone listened quietly as Barnabas and Paul told about the miraculous signs and wonders God had done through them among the Gentiles.”

 

8. We resolve the problem or make adjustments (positive)

Acts 15:36-37 – “After some time Paul said to Barnabas, ‘Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.’ Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark.”

Acts 15:38-39 – “But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus.”

 

9. Peace results (positive)

Colossians 3:15 – “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.”

Ephesians 4:3 – “Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.”

Peace occurs as you forgive, release the offender, and recognize that the steps you took are peacemaking.

Matthew 5:9 – “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

 

Discussion Questions:

1. When was the last time you had the urge to explode at someone? What was it about? How was it resolved?

2. What part of the conflict resolution phase is most difficult for you? Why?

3. How was conflict dealt with in your family of origin (home-life growing up)?

4. How might your family history and/or patterns directly affect your conflict resolution skills? (We are typically either replicating or reacting to our family of origin issue.)

5. Is there a situation you need to apply these steps to in your life right now?